Okay, so maybe that's not going down on my good karma record. However, I did have the pleasure of freezing a plastic eyeball in an ice cube, putting it in a friend's drink, ('Eyeball in your highball?') and watching him freak completely. It took six years and thirteen surgeries. In fact, I had to have my entire face rebuilt because I smashed it up pretty good. I lost my real eye in a car accident when I was eighteen. The three things I like best about myself are my sense of humor, my ability to listen, and my imagination.ħ. My three worst habits are overeating, self-doubt, and the frequent use of the 'f' word.Ħ. My least favorite word is 'maybe.' 'Maybe' is almost always a 'no' drawn out in cruel fashion.ĥ. My favorite word is 'redemption.' I like both its meaning and the sound.

And when I do something she doesn't like, she threatens to find it.Ĥ. It included colored pencil illustrations of manly-looking, bearded criminals smoking, and, oblivious to the fact that The Beatles had already sort of laid claim to the title, I called my novel, HELP. McBee's 6th grade English class, was about a girl whose family is kidnapped and held hostage by a murderous lot of bank robbers who intend to kill the whole family–including the dog–until the 12-year-old heroine foils the plot and saves the day. Yes, I am one of those dreaded P.K.s–Preacher's Kids. I ended up using the punchbowl box as an end table for two years.Ģ. ) and a punchbowl (my grandmother's gift) under my arm. I lived in Texas until I was 26 years old, then I moved to New York City with $600.00 in my shoe ('cause muggers won't take it out of your shoe, y'know. TEN THINGS YOU DON'T KNOW ABOUT ME by Libba Brayġ. Or that I made everyone call me 'Bert' in ninth grade for no reason that I can think of. Or that I once sang a punk version of 'Que Sera Sera' onstage in New York City. That doesn't tell you that I stuck a bead up my nose while watching TV when I was four and thought I'd have to go to the ER and have it cut out. I could tell you the facts–I lived in Texas for most of my life I live in New York City with my husband and six-year-old son now I have freckles and a lopsided smile I'm allergic to penicillin.īut that doesn't really give you much insight into me. I think what gets me feeling itchy is all that emphasis on the facts of a life, while all the juicy, relevant, human oddity stuff gets left on the cutting room floor. What is it about writing an author bio that gives me that deer-in-headlights feeling? It's not exactly like I'm going to say 'I was born in Alabama…' and somebody's going to jump up and snarl, 'Oh yeah? Prove it!' At least I hope not.

Going bovine by libba bray